Turning a Lemon into Lemonade--at the Mini Cooper Stand

Mini Me

   (Written in November 2014)  

     I was in the market for a small sporty glamour car, with very little room for other passengers.

     There are many reasons in life why people seek out a sports car—attention-seeking, midlife crises or just trying to be greener and using less of the so-called carbon footprint. But my reason was this—I was preparing for the empty nest and I decided to take a prophylactic measure against the impending sorrow.  At last I could free myself from driving a double-wide SUV whose primary appeal was its large capacity -- it could seat seven. I have two boys, and for many years drove them and their friends thousands of miles around this vast county in Maryland -- to soccer practices, baseball games, bar/bat-mitzvahs, laser tag parties and paintball boondoggles.

I wanted something economical, easy to park, gas saving and at least two thirds smaller than the SUV. I also wanted a car that was, well, cute and cool. I chose Mini Cooper at Mini of Montgomery County in Maryland because it met all these criteria, and as a bonus, it allowed me to create a car that was a Mini Me. I chose a red Mini Cooper hardtop with a white roof and checkerboard black and white side mirror caps. Take a look in my closet and you’ll understand that this is my color palate.

Black and white and red all over--My Closet

In other words, if I were a car, I would be this car. It shared some of character traits that I treasure: it’s speedy, zippy, and glam; it’s a car that just wants to have fun -- there is a setting for rotating disco lights inside.

     The little darling had to be custom built in England and took about six weeks. Just before Thanksgiving 2013, I had a brand new Mini Me. When friends and neighbors saw the car in the driveway, they had no doubt to whom it belonged. One neighbor even said he has never seen a car that so perfectly suited its owner’s style and personality.

     BUT…when the summer heat started to take hold and I turned on the air conditioner, it didn’t work. That was my first trip to the service department. There were at least seven more trips to service. I was given so many loaners while they “looked at the car” that I think I have driven every style in the Mini inventory. I was seeing more of my customer service professional, Kristen, than I was my husband. I will spare you the gory details, but let’s say the car had to have its engine replaced; it shuddered and stalled at stop lights; had to be towed a half a mile from the dealership. Various devilish icons were blinking constantly from the control panel. They might as well have been hieroglyphics, but their meaning was clear—something is terribly wrong. The car should have been painted solid yellow. I got a lemon.

     I told the service manager that I bought a new car exactly to avoid this situation—to avoid trips to the service department except for the occasional check-up. I also pointed out that I am their demographic—empty-nesting mothers who just can’t wait to ditch the van or SUV and get into something smaller. And there are new herds of us every year. Mini Corporate heard me. They spoke to the regional sales manager. He agreed to offer me a trade assist, in other words take the lemon off my hands and replace it with a 2015 model, designed to spec at no additional cost. It arrived the day before Thanksgiving, a day of gratitude and almost a year to the date after bought the original. I presented a bouquet of flowers to Kristen, one of the coolest calmest customer service employees on earth. She gave me a black and white canvas tote to go with my Mini.

     As I blasted out of the service driveway in my new 2015 Mini, now featuring a triple turbo engine, I was again black and white and red all over. All of my blues had gone away, except the clear skies ahead on the highway. And not a hint of yellow anywhere.